


Love Like You

by Narcissisticpeacock



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:29:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11445624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narcissisticpeacock/pseuds/Narcissisticpeacock
Summary: Amélie wishes she could be even half of what Lena thinks of her.





	Love Like You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "Love Like You" from Steven Universe.

"Why would you _do_ this?"

The line echoes in her head and she can't understand why. It's been so long since her days as a loving wife, as a faithful friend. Most days, the memories are hazy and unclear. But that woman blows away some of the fog sitting there.

Widowmaker doesn't like the thoughts it brings up.

She can remember bits of spending time with friends and family. She remembers her husband most of all and it starts an ugly ache in her chest that makes her nauseous. After him, there's friends she'd see often, there's her parents, and there's her own face in the mirror, happy and free of guilt. And there's her friendship with a young pilot, eager to join as a agent.

Everything hurts when she thinks about it. Gérard, Lena, everyone who once stood beside her.

Why _would_ she do this? she sometimes thinks. She had the world at her fingertips. Now she has nothing but memories and the tattoos on her skin.

She wonders, occasionally, when she is able if others still think of what she could have been.

She's convinces herself at least one person does. It's most likely Tracer.

\-----

Every encounter Widowmaker has makes things worse. She still fights, of course. Her primary battle is loud, full of bullets and blood. Her secondary is within her, wondering if she could ever find who she once was again.

Overwatch is a constant enemy, but so are police of various countries, security at various buildings... Only the first is ever a true challenge.

It seems every mission she goes on that she faces them, Tracer is there. She's likely one of the last of her active agents.

It wouldn't be a problem if the pilot wasn't so persistent.

Widowmaker plays a distance game, but Tracer likes to get in close. Widow has one good shot before Tracer hunts her down. There's always some form of hesitation and they both know it.

Widowmaker knows she shouldn't feel anything, but when Lena gives her a sad look and asks again "why?", she feels a bit of her break.

 _Why?_ Widow wants to ask in response. _Why do you care when I am so clearly a lost cause?_

Instead, she swears in French and grapples away, but only after dropping a venom mine.

She tells herself not to think about it later.

\-----

There are days she spends curled by Gabe's side, when even Sombra knows she shouldn't joke. He's her closest friend and understands some of her pain.

It's the days where Widowmaker is more Amélie and she can only think of the crimes she's committed, of Gérard's blood on her hands.

She wonders what might be different if she'd never been taken. Where she might be if Gérard were alive. Would she be a mother? Would she be planning dinner parties? Working some job or other? Would she hurt as much as she does now?

As she sometimes does, she thinks of Lena. They'd been friends before. Lena was the sickeningly sweet type who constantly stood up for herself and others. She was almost disgustingly good. She was the type that had valor and goodness in her veins. Back then and even now, still the woman believed in people to a nearly faulty degree.

On her worst days, Amélie hates thinking of this. All it did was remind her of how hopeless she was. Even before Talon, she hadn't been worth it. She wasn't like Lena. She'd never be any sort of good.

\-----

Widowmaker knows she should move. She knows Tracer is nearby, she knows the woman heard the shot she'd placed. Despite this, she's frozen. Her shot had missed. The first in a long while. She'd has good conditions, the target had been unaware...

But now she was frozen despite the agent headed her way. She'd missed.

Her hand twitches and the rifle nearly drops.

"Amélie," comes a voice.

Lena is behind her, but she doesn't turn. She wishes she could feel bullets pierce her back, but she knows the younger woman doesn't want to make that choice.

Finally, Amélie turns, rifle lowered. She wants to make her face stony and unreadable, but she doesn't think she can.

"Please," Lena whispers.

Some emotion wells up in Amélie's chest, one she can't identify. It multiplies the ache there tenfold. She feels like she can't breathe until finally, she finds a purchase in anger.

"I am nothing," she hisses. "Why do you persist when it would be easiest to kill me?" Her voice is sharp and makes Lena flinch. "What do you see that makes you think I am anything but a weapon?"

The pain on Lena's face hurts Amélie more than she expects. Her anger falters for a moment.

"You were so much more than that. _Are_ so much more than that!" Lena's voice feels more like a dagger thrust to the gut.

Rather than respond, Widowmaker snarls and makes her escape.

Only when she is alone in a distant rooftop does she collapse. She cries there, alone, but isn't entirely sure why. But she still knows she's nothing special.

\-----

Widowmaker isn't sure why she's shaking. The Widow's Kiss lies on the floor, feet from her. She hasn't even gotten off a shot. Her hands are shaking and her mark is shaking too. They're staring at her, afraid to move.

There are shouts downstairs, and footsteps. She knew Overwatch would be there. She needed to be fast but now she's standing, shaking, and looking at the person who should be dead on the ground.

She doesn't move as the agents enter the room. Someone moves to the target, others turn their sights to her.

As always, Tracer is there. She's on the defensive, ready to counter whatever Widow might do. But she's not prepared. She's not prepared for Widowmaker doing nothing. She's almost startled by it.

Widow shakes but she doesn't resist as they cuff her. She can't find her voice as Tracer speaks to her, asks, almost sarcastically what went wrong. What's _going_ wrong.

Widowmaker just shakes her head, lets herself be led away.

She doesn't know how much longer it has been the next time she sees Lena. She's in a cell and Lena is outside.

Questions, questions, questions.

Lena asks, probes, says everything she can, trying to get something from Widowmaker, from Amélie.

"Why didn't you do it?"

It's different from before, but Amélie just stares. She finds words then, but they sound wrong, taste wrong. "I couldn't."

It's a simple answer. Too simple.

So Lena speaks again. "Why?"

 _You_ , Amélie wants to answer. _You are why._

But she stays silent. Cold, empty silence.

Lena stares at her. Amélie doesn't know if it's for seconds, minutes, or hours.

"We're going to try rehabilitation," she says, finally. "But you have to agree."

Lena doesn't wait for an answer. She leaves the room and leaves Amélie in her cell.

\-----

It takes months for Amélie to feel. For it to be more than muted grief or pain. She tries. She does. But some days she feels like she's burning alive. Other days she's drowning.

Amélie doesn't know why, but Lena sticks around. She has been fighting to keep Amelie in rehab, to keep her healing. She gets Angela to help, asks Zenyatta for tips on meditating. She gives Amélie her space the days she needs it and sticks around when she can help.

Lena loves to talk. It's obvious. But she holds herself back around Amélie. Despite this, she asks once a day how Amélie's feeling. Most days, the sniper doesn't know how to answer. On her bad days, she tells the truth. She tells Lena when she hurts, when she feels non-existence might be better.

Lena is there for her and she can't help but feel like a burden.

She says as much to Lena one day and Lena vehemently denies it. She frowns and insists Amélie is her friend, that she'd feel guilty if she didn't do something.

Amélie is convinced, but only for a short while.

It's later on, a week or more, maybe, that she stumbles on Lena crying. She's sobbing, leaning on Angela who's doing her best to console. Amélie steps back, not wanting to intrude, but hears her own name. She hesitates, lingering in the door way where she can't be seen.

"She's Amelie," Lena sobs.

Angela's soft reply is barely heard, a whisper of "who else would she be?"

Lena tries to control herself, but it takes a moment before she can say what she feels. "I just... she's been gone for so long. They hurt her so much and now she's... she's Amélie again!"

Angela hushes her but seems to provide some measure of comfort.

Amélie leaves, unsure of what she's heard. She hates the thought of Lena crying, and she doesn't know how to react. She wanders her way to the garden and sits there. Flowers make her feel better, but she doesn't understand that quite yet either.

She's still in the garden nearly an hour later when Lena finds her. Lena gives her a smile, but her eyes are still red from crying. "What's going on, love?"

Amélie thinks on her words for a moment. She knows Lena is open with her, so she decides to speak up.

"Being around me makes you sad," she answers. There's a knot in her chest; she's afraid she's right.

Lena frowns. "No. What's wrong?"

Amélie doesn't meet her eyes but stares ahead at the flowers planted there. "I... overheard you crying. To Angela. Because of me."

The pilot's frown deepens. "Well... It was because of you. But, not in a bad way," she admits.

Golden eyes glance over at her. "I... How do you mean?"

Lena sighs and sits beside her. "You were gone for a long time," she mumbles. "First we thought you were dead, and then when we found you, they had... hurt you. Twisted you." She digs her fingers into the grass. "When you agreed to rehab, I... it felt unreal. Recently, though, it really sank in. You're here. You're healing."

Amélie studied her face but didn't speak.

"They were happy tears. We, well..." She sighs. "I'm getting you back. It just overwhelmed me, yeah?" She shrugs, but smiles. "Happy tears."

Amélie isn't sure how to respond. So she does something she hasn't for a very long time. She initiates a hug.

They're both seated on the ground, so Amélie has to turn and pull Lena closer. Lena is surprised but surrenders to the hug almost immediately. She lets herself be pulled in close and grins as she rests her head on Amélie's shoulder.

Amélie holds her there for a few long seconds. "Merci," she whispers. "Merci, chérie _._ For not giving up on me."

Lena hugs tighter but doesn't speak. She can't find words.

Amélie continues. "I... I am sorry. For all that I did. All I've done."

Lena sighs against her neck. "I forgave you already, love." Softer, she says, "You need to learn to forgive yourself."

And suddenly, Amélie is crying. Lena panics, pulling away, trying to see what went wrong. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to--"

Amélie shakes her head, and laughs through her tears. "Happy tears," she says. "These are happy tears." She pulls Lena closer again, pressing their foreheads together. Lena laughs too, relieved.

Amélie is certain she can do at least that. She can learn to forgive herself. To love herself again. Lena is there. She'll help.

**Author's Note:**

> [grandmotha voice] "back in my day, we called these song fics!"
> 
> Listen to the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kdxUY9_vns


End file.
